The Dark Side of a Dual Mind

Sacrifice

2007-12-12T01:09:04Z

That night it was chilly but not so much thrilling as haunting, like fear that turns snowflakes to red. That night as I peered out my window I feared that the fog was a creature that actually fed. My mother was worried and said to me “Hurry, it’s time for all young ones to be safe in bed.” She kissed me and smiled, I forgot for a while that uneasy feeling, that increasing dread. I didn’t know why but she started to cry and her tears made me shutter as each one was shed. But then she went out and replenished with doubt I lay, insides as heavy as three bricks of lead. I tried to recall the last movie I saw or the colorful pictures in something I’d read. I peered out the window, my grey curtains billowed and then I saw claws and some black and white thread, then next came the paws, the eyes and the jaws, I shook and I wept, terrified as he said, “Now don’t be afraid, you’re the sacrifice made on this glorious night when the snowflakes turn red. They’re all so afraid that to keep me at bay they’ll allow me to eat you until you are dead.”

Duplicate

2007-12-12T01:00:43Z

In this room of endless days I search for you.
Half-lidded in a murky shadowed haze,
I find you there, my mirrored tattered blue.

What more can I hope to find here but you?
It’s a simple unobtainable dream I chase.
Yet through these endless days I search for you.

The one thing that I often yearn to do,
is break the mirror so you can be erased.
Yet you’re always here, my mirrored tattered blue.

So I’ll continue doing what I always do.
Stuck here contemplating my lost state of grace
In this room of endless days, while I search for you.

With every box I open I’m lost too,
I’ll never finish looking at this pace.
But everywhere I look you’re here, my mirrored tattered blue.

I’m faced with horror I cannot refuse.
My own reflection I must come to face
In this room of endless days I search for you,
And find you here, my mirrored tattered blue.

Forgotten

2007-12-12T00:58:07Z

She often believed that there was nothing stranger
than the thoughts that trickled through her mind.
She calmed her pulse to a slow deliberate tick,
until unknown faces triggered it to race.
She didn’t want to know her own secrets,
and would have forgotten every shadowed memory in time.

She traced the street with slow steps, and frequently checked the time.
When she realized that at the sidewalk’s end there was a stranger,
a man with a dog and a bag full of secrets,
she could not stop the violence from penetrating her mind.
She walked quickly, then jogged, and then began to race.
After the car door locked she felt each miserable second’s tick.

She breathed, turned the key and felt the engine tick.
The dashboard lights illuminated the time.
She pulled out slowly, then began to race,
away from those memories, and all of the strangers.
With the windows down she screamed to keep her mind
from unbolting the heavy doors that hid those secrets.

She wondered instead about the secrets
of the universe, and what makes it all tick.
The neighborhood was run down, but she paid no mind
to the trash in the street, as she struggled to forget that time,
the broken chain on the door, and the stranger.
Her memories began to revive as she forced the engine to race.

She closed her eyes tightly and perused that fatal race.
Desperate to escape that man, and those secrets
which haunted her from just below the surface, strangers
to her revised memory banks. Her long fingernails ticked
nervously against her leg as she counted the rhythm and time,
trying not to slip into the darker corners of her chambered mind.

But that massive breech was as a crashing seizure within her mind.
Her skull could barely hold her thoughts, her chest the pounding race
of her heart. Then there was the corner, the turn, and not enough time.
She lost control, unable to bear the pressure of her secrets.
They sucked at her concentration and sanity like ticks.
The crash was deafening, though only heard by a single stranger.

It was stranger still, the way her mind ran down the steering wheel,
and her heart struggled through its final ticks, at the end of that deadly race.
After that her thoughts ceased to count the time, and her secrets kept themselves.

AEriol

2007-12-12T00:55:48Z

I fall asleep and I don’t get paid,
but it’s hard to lie on this bed,
exhausted and awake,
moving my hips to the rhythm
of the AEriol.

This cigarette cloud is choking me.
In this thrusting dance,
I need to breathe.
I gasp for air, but there is none here,
only sweat, drinks, music.

I’m told to drink whiskey,
To get up and dance,
legs flying over my head,
screams rising up
to the great dome ceiling.

A show between acts,
routine turns routine,
and I scream without thinking,
only wanting to sleep,
alone in a bed
I can’t even call mine.

But time’s not up yet,
five minutes to go.
The whalebones are tight,
and my breasts overflow
as they heave.

My skirt is heavy,
hard to hold up,
but warm like a blanket.
My head drops, then jerks.
Forced noises escape my lips,
I hear the rhythm fade.

I roll over slowly and light up a smoke.
He smiles and pants, I wink as I leave.
Bar tokens in hand,
I slump down the stairs
to meet the new cowboys,
and show them the night.

Pressure

2007-12-11T23:55:31Z

Tell me a funny story.
I don’t have one.
Come on tell me.
My mind is a chasm.
I’ve already told you two…

I sit in concentration
amongst the laughter and smoke.
Nothing comes.
I was laughing,
just a moment before,
overcome by the humor of his tales.
I can still feel the tension
in the small muscles in my jaw and cheeks.
This jolly stranger is inviting me to share
the laugher in my life,
But I only feel frustration,
as I sit in concentration.
Nothing comes.

Tell me a funny story he repeats.
I don’t have one.
I can’t find them.

I can’t figure out why they’ve all gone away.
I remember laughing
hysterically
uncontrollably
until tears dampened my face
and pain split my sides.
I remember laughing
I don’t remember why.

Come on, I’ve already told you two.
My mind is a chasm.

One moment.
I’m reaching for just one moment.
Trying to harden,
to make real,
those inexplicably intangible memories.
I fail.
I don't know why.
I can’t find them.

Cathartic Addiction

2007-10-25T04:32:40Z

I never said sorrow was something I hate
A broken bone feeling but something I taste
like an orange candy liquor, that’s burning and sweet,
Or the ashes of flowers that lay at my feet.

I know that you’ll leave me in pain on the ground,
But I take in a mouthful and swallow you down.
It feels like consuming a flaming red coal
as you pass through my insides and mar me with holes.

I allow you to fill me but realize my fears
when I begin to lose you through my pours and tears.
My hatred flows outward, a hot steady stream.
You drip through my fingers, I catch you and scream.

I close my eyes tightly and feel it exude
The mercury droplets, that sear as they soothe.
I start to get empty, that’s when I begin
to fill up a needle, inject it back in.

I lie in confusion, entirely torn
between hating and loving, compassion and scorn.
I miss you and curse you, as I start to fill
with the sorrow of loosing, the snow and the chill.

I can’t quit this anger, releasing in waves
the self-produced pictures that haunt me for days
I never said hurting was something I hate
This cycled catharsis is something I crave.

Bipolar

2007-10-25T03:53:41Z

Fond soft fluffy memories of you. . .
I think of you always,
Especially when I look into the snow.
Speak to me
Draw me in.
Touch me
Open me up
Draw me out, a straight thin chord.
Touch me and make me sing.
Beautiful notes that sing out for you.
Touch me
Hold me
Grasp me
Snap me
Strip me to threads so I can no longer sing
I would have found my voice again
if you hadn’t held on to the pieces.
I miss you
I love you
I’m empty
Fuck you.
All of this poison is siring through my skin.
I writhe and I see your face.
I breathe and the sun floods in.
Leave me
I hate you
You ass-hole
How dare you?
If you knew how much I’d given up
How completely I was gone
given over to you when you had already left.
I’m screaming
It’s torture
I’m empty
It’s quiet.
Standing here alone I search for scraps of you
But you have taken everything and given nothing back
Taken all your promises, affection and pieces of me.
There’s no more
I’ve crumbled
Still burning
Not snowing.
I want to run to you every day
and hold you, and push you
and take back what I need to live.
Go
Leave me
Restore me
Forget.

Shaken

2007-09-08T23:04:40Z

Run run run run run run fly!
Take all of my emotions and hide
them deep down where the hot tar bubbles
and will burn them away,
or solidify them into to hard heavy
stone stomach aches.
I can't stand to see your face.

I don't want to see your hands,
soft on a small shoulder.
I don't want to see your hair,
longer than it was before.
These memories of you,
They're not who you are.
There is no more snow.
Now, there is no more snow.

Now it's hot and i'm sick.
There is no more sleeping with you
between classes.
Now you're gone and i'm sick.
I'm whole but i'm hollow.
My hands shake and i miss you.
It's like missing hell,
Or heaven and hell split in two.
The paradise was never real.

The happiness was always acid coated.
Always eating away at itself,
But i never let you fade.
You begged me to remember,
I remember every day.
It's you who shut me out of your mind.
I can read the letters, see the pictures,
And breathe life back into a time
that will never really live again,
but you stay.

I needed to bury you along with those beads
Underneath the peach tree.
The stars still sparkled.
It seemed a pitty to dull them under so much dirt,
but they are dead now.
We are both dead now.
Yet you still burn in the pit of my stomach.

I see you and i know it's not who you are.
You are dead.
The belt, the shoes, the posters and the songs,
the houses rings, cats and snow,
they are all dead now.
But these memories, they wont die.
The person you were then,
He won't die, because i can't let you.
I won't ever let you fade away.

Negative

2007-06-26T04:12:04Z

It was not too cold to keep us from enjoying the sun. It was warm for November, but we both wore long coats as we lay side by side in the dry grass. I could feel your heat. We spent a long time hinting, hiding meaning in meaninglessness. I heard I love you embedded somewhere deep inside a soft mumble. I pretended not to hear. It was only the third time we’d seen each other, and it was wrong. For a while, we stared in silence. I looked away and said shit much louder than what had passed before. You asked me what was wrong, and the stare that followed was deeper and more terrible than the first. I said I love you, the words passed clearly between us for the first time, and I was damned.

There were noticeably less flowers, cards and candy that February. I pocketed a total of two pieces of chocolate that day. I didn’t get to see you until nighttime, but darkness came and there you were. It was the third month we had been together. I was sitting on top of you laughing and somewhere, quietly, hidden in a mumble, I heard you say I love you. I pretended not to hear. After we made love, we lay panting on the sweat dampened sheets. I could not see you, but I could still feel your heat. After I had had enough of silence, I said honey? In the dark, you found my mouth and kissed me, pulled away and asked yes? I love you I replied, and as the words passed clearly between us for the first time, I was safe.

In the Company of Raindrops

2007-06-26T04:06:29Z

The thunder clouds are creeping up the sky,
And soon will swallow up the yellow light.
The rain will wash away what once was dry.
The gloom and dusk will mock and mimic night.
Yet I find solace in the darkened day.
The silent rush, crazed calm, I don’t resent.
Instead of running in I think I’ll stay,
To breathe the rare, life-giving desert scent.
When drops fall off my hair and drench my skin,
Form puddles, streams, or seep into the ground,
With arms outstretched I wholly take it in.
Filled to the brim, I breathe and I am drowned.
My eyes are open now, and I remain,
Shutting out life while standing in the rain.

The Stubbornness of Fish

2007-06-26T04:00:07Z

One fish munching on the legs of another.
Jesus and Darwin,
Soaking their fins in pools of blood.
A war is raging
But always at a distance
As slurs are shouted over thick brick
To avoid looking the enemy in the eye.
Jesus and Darwin,
Soaking their fins in pools of blood.
The teeth open wide in anger,
Misunderstanding
Ignorance.
On opposite sides of an impenetrable wall,
Separating two vast seas of ideology.
The fish cannot look each other in the eye.
They cannot see that they are all just fish
And they never try to break through.
Jesus and Darwin,
Soaking their fins in pools of blood.
Their teeth are sharpened and they’re poised to fight.
They’re ready, they want it.
Perhaps it’s boredom, or want of status
That drives them to carnage.
Motivation is murky
They just like the feeling of being on fire.
They avoid the wall.
They leave deep pockets of bitter salt water
Between their cold scales and the dense concrete.
The fish will not look each other in the eye.
They will not see that they are all just fish
They are all afraid that their fire will smolder
Should they take a moment to understand
Or a single second to see,
We are all fish.

Expectations

2007-06-26T03:57:20Z

Your mission, your duty,
is to take the pressure.
You may not choose to accept it.
There are no choices here.
Just let us place it on you,
or better yet,
throw it to you.
We won’t be watching if you drop it,
but we’ll hand you the broom.
Let us challenge your morals,
Your religion.
Do it for the children
Do it for the money
Do it because that’s what we expect.
Simple.
Do not look for sympathy
Rewards
Checkups
Information
Fish.
Handle it.

To Ignight Chivalry

2007-06-26T03:54:49Z

To build a chivalric dream
Out of dingy street-corners
And sticky sin-covered alleyways,
Peel the debauchery from the bricks
Of the rat-infested buildings.
Gather it from the stones in the hallways.
Sweep the clicks of whore’s heels off the sidewalks,
And catch their floating laughs in bottles.
Wrap them,
With the foul scent of cheep brothel perfumes
Into a clean handkerchief and fold it
Twice.

Wash it in the earthy water
Of a deep well
Where no spring water or rain ever fell
And justice will be manifested.
You will directly hear hoof beats
On cobblestone
As transformed virgin maids wave their handkerchiefs
From the windows of a former brothel.
And as the knights’ polished lances
Pass through the smoggy city air,
The sensuous roses will wilt,
And give way to thriving daises.

The Dragon

2007-06-26T03:52:07Z

Is it the armored skin that I admire?
The titanium scales that scoff at arrows?
You splinter trees while scratching itches,
and mar stone to sharpen your claws.
I think of you while I lazily
pick at the nail polish that’s been there for months.
I think of your powerful jaw that devours gallantry,
ingesting ancient codes of honor.
It’s Ramen again tonight.
Perhaps it’s the streams of fire that burst across the sky,
or the wings that push your enormous body
above the veils of thin air, and wisps of cloud.
The vast array of vertebrae,
and ribs that twist and slide, your grace.
Your bones twist like mine, but without the aches.
You devour flocks with one pass,
I pick at my peas.
You incinerate villages with your terrible rage,
they shriek it, terrified,
but they know your name.
You are more magnificent than I could ever be,
yet there is still a small trace of you somewhere,
nested within me.

Mineshaft

2007-06-26T03:48:29Z

The wound in the mountain remains.
With wooden beams forbidding healing,
Though its golden veins have long ago gone dry.
It is an open sore,
Stinking and infected.
The dynamite bit hard into that mountain.
It held its breath for just a moment before it screamed.

The miners needed lanterns to see the glistening blood.
They tore at it with their picks,
Extracting what it’s held from birth,
Ignoring the echoing moans.
They left only silence,
And that festering rotting hole.
That mountain doesn’t scream anymore.

Unshakable

2006-10-09T04:02:39Z

Poison.
A slight outside influence on a sensitive state.
One touch and contentment crumbles,
One drop and serenity melts away.
The curse of an all too malleable mind.
The neurons spark and smoke.
A blank screen, the backdrop of my eyes.
Lights flash in the foreground reflecting
ERROR. . . ERROR. . .
The wheels jam.
I stare out from noting into nothing.
The hooks enter my skin.
the frustration deeply buried in my flesh.
So that once the reboot occurs,
And the gears resume their rotation,
The anger and the torment remain.
It's in my blood.
It flows past the angry rusted hooks,
Seeping into my clothes,
Nuzzling against my entire being:
Unshakable.
My anger is poison,
Hot in my exhaled breath,
Bitter in my voice,
And rigid in my touch.
I can stand straight after tragedy,
But it is always the smallest of my foes,
That conquer me.

Haunted Air Castle

2006-10-09T03:39:12Z

Recite the lullaby,
Calm the raging storm.
Wash away the torrent,
And the lightning in my eyes.

Recite the lullaby,
When my head is fulled with doubts.
Hypnotize my senseless mind,
Seduce myself with lies.

All is peaceful,
All is well.
(Don't let me slip into this hell)
Count my blessings,
Peaceful sighs.
(Don't help when i close my eyes)

Recite the lullaby,
Feel your body next to mine.
I wish that i could stay with you,
Please keep me from this chase.

Recite the lullaby,
the words are lost with you.
I slip into the darkness,
I'm pulled into this place.

All is peaceful,
All is well.
(I have returned now to this hell)
Count my blessings,
Peaceful sighs.
(Can't help me now that i'm inside)

Forbidden Thoughts

2006-10-09T03:23:52Z

This is how i say these things,
In black and white,
Disguised in metaphor.
this is where i keep these things,
Locked inside my mind.
They fight for air,
They fight for life,
they are drowning there,
Drowning in my reason,
choking on my conviction,
suffocating in my righteousness,
Surviving, and feeding on m fear and doubt.
This is the only way i can let them out,
Masked with smoke,
Cloaked with a mirage of insubstantiality.
They are harmless this way.
These thoughts i cannot stop from seeping,
Into my eyes as i lie trying to sleep.
As i play tricks with my own mind.
I will not let them out unmasked,
They are dangerous that way,
These things, they're safer here with me,
Or here in black an white,
Blanketed in mystery.

My Brain as a Canvas

2006-10-09T03:09:53Z

A pallid of paints, colored by emotion, ready at my hand.
I mix them and they emerge one by one.
One, the color of persuasion,
An eager yet shy yellow.
Another, the longing of infatuation;
The pail pink flush that flies up my neck,
And flutters to a rest upon my cheeks.
And the hot red of adrenalin,
Corsing through my veins,
Triggered by a look, and then a smile.
But there are other colors there.
The empty consuming black,
A void of lonliness.
There is doubt.
A dark purple storm cloud looming overhead.
And the dark bottomless blue below.
the worry and the regret,
I shrink away from the responsibility of choosing my own destiny.
The shreaking frey of sleet against the wondow pain;
It screams to me of fear.
The better acidic green;
The sour jealousy that settles in the pit of my stomach.
I reach then for my blanket.
It envelopes me, that rich dark brown.
The coor of my love.
I wrap myself up in the warmth of it,
Until i part my lips and the color of the sky,
Drifts ot and upwards.
the clear blue, the color of my hope.
All the colors are visible now,
And my brain is a canvas.
I am covered with the hues of my emotions.
My brain is a canvas,
And i am a work in progress.

It Comes With Teeth, And a Venomous Tongue

2006-05-22T00:51:31Z

A million contradictions,
I know, You contain multitudes.
You cater to my addictions,
Through laughs and romantic interludes.

But i never cease to wonder,
At the complexity that is you.
I'd be a fool to see you as one,
When it is clear that you are two.

You're my everlasting solace,
But one that is bizarre.
Although i find great peace in you,
Your words can go too far.

I try to hide the sting sometimes,
to seem understanding and strong.
But the pain builds up inside of me,
And the levee breaks before too long.

You really are so precious to me,
You're beautiful, loving and kind,
Not one minute passes in each day,
When i'm not thankful that you're mine.

But day must sometime turn to night,
The moon must wax and wane.
And all the comfort that i feel,
Must sometimes be replaced with pain.

With stinging words and glaring eyes,
You easily break me down.
And tears fall steadily from my eyes,
Until i fear i may drown.

My brain hurts and confuses me,
But you go in cycles too.
Around from bites to kisses,
This is always what you do.

The twins that rule your destiny,
They find a way to hate and love.
Predictable as they may be,
Logic, they are devoid of.

If i could fix my broken mind,
And you could calm your stinging bites,
We would share a perfect love,
Absent of tears and shouts and fights.

But even if i could do all of this,
I'd keep you as you are.
For you are beautiful to me,
I'll take the bites and keep the scars.

I love you.

Not Again

2006-05-21T05:51:23Z

It happens again.
And again and again.
And again.
Why the fuck can't i be normal?
And speak the way normal people do,
Whose thoughts find their lips,
After traveling logical paths,
To reach logical conclusions.
Why?
Why am i trapped inside these cycles of frustration?
Squeezing my eyes shut to keep in the tears.
Pulling my nails across my skin,
And shaking my head so fast and so hard,
That i can hear my brain rattling around inside.
The words do not come.
The thoughts cannot find their way.
And i am trapped here once again.
I can feel it coming.
I dig my nails deep into the ground,
As the confusion grabs my feet,
And pulls me backwards into the darkness.
I fight.
I dig my nails in deeper,
Fighting to stay in a world that makes sense.
In a world where i can think and speak and smile.
But the confusion is stronger than i am,
And it pulls,
Until all that is left of me in the world of logic,
Are deep nail marks in the ground.
For i have gone once more into the dark cell in the corner of my mind.
It is an evil place,
Where logic has no meaning.
Where Frustration overwhelms my entire being,
As Words lose their way in my throat,
And thoughts become a blur.
There is nothing left to do,
But wish i could communicate with you,
Wish i could tell you what's wrong.
Wish i could stop you from looking at me,
With that horrible look in your eyes.
That "What the fuck is wrong with you?",
"Why won't you talk to me?" look in your eyes.
There is nothing left to do but cry.
Locked inside my head,
In that dark endless cell,
My only companions confusion, frustration, desperation, anger.
I wish i could bring you here.
I wish you could see me bound,
With my mouth wired shut,
And all my thoughts swirling together in an empty jar.
Blurring, then disappearing.
If you could see me,
Unable to move,
Unable to think,
Unable to speak,
Unable to feel,
You might not look at me the same way.
You might not be as angry when i can't answer your questions,
When i can't tell you what's wrong.
I want to escape from this hell.
They've sucked my blood to find answers.
Needles and tests cannot provide them.
I am lost.
I am scared.
I am lonely,
And i am sorry.
I wish you could make it better.
I wish you could take me in your arms and allow me to think again.
To restore sense to the world and allow me to speak again.
But it's hold is powerful, unmerciful, and unpredictable.
So i try to tell you that i'm sorry,
And that i love you,
Before my words are taken away once more,
Because it will happen again.
And again and again.
And again.

Eggs and Broken Glass

2006-03-24T04:07:20Z

I miss your laugh,
And I want to kiss you.
Thousands of miles separate us,
Each one blurring our connection,
Each day blurring the memories.
The empty feeling in my stomach bothers me a little.
There's no comfort in the number three,
Nor in the awkwardness of being on the outside.
There's only blood,
And thoughts of you.
I want to feel small like I do when you hold me.
I want to feel protected and safe.
Instead, I'm surrounded by eggs and broken glass,
And I don't pretend to know why.
I don't understand.
I'm angry, confused and lonely,
And I want you to come home.

Crash

2006-03-08T03:26:56Z

Crash
A train wreck in my heart.
The tears fall without compromise,
It's more than i can bear.

Eyes
Seeking to destroy.
I'm crushed under the weight of them,
It's more than i can bear.

Words
Tearing me apart.
The effect that they have on me,
It's more than i can bear.

Love
It seems so distant now.
I cannot seek it out in you,
It's more than i can bear.

I knew this was inevitable.
couldn't believe it when it came.
I thought we were invincible,
But i caused this, i'm to blame.

Tubes
Coming from his lungs.
That look of distance in his eyes,
It's more than i can bear.

Smoke
Burning at my lungs.
A comfort that's the mask of death,
It's more than i can bear.

I never saw this coming.
Was even more shocked when it came.
I tough you were invincible,
But no one is to blame.

Life
Unmerciful and cruel.
Demolishing security,
It's more than i can bear.

Saying "I Love You"

2006-03-08T03:11:07Z

If i were to tell you i love you,
Would you smile?
Would you turn your face to shadow?
Would you do anything at all?

Would words mean anything at all,
If you were to hold my heart in your hands,
Contracting and opening your fingers,
Conforming the beats to the whim of your mind?

Would the soft blood running down your arm,
Comfort you, knowing that i'm yours?
Or would you fear the stain,
Not wanting to claim it?

Would you turn away a love that sought you,
Or build for it a home,
In the empty space where your love once stayed,
Before you gave it me?

If i were to tell you i felt it,
The love you have for me,
In the pressure you use to hold me,
And in the heat of your skin,

In the depth of your eyes,
Or the tension of your body,
Would you say you saw it too?
Not reflected, but created anew.

Would it bear you though frustration,
When you stare with hatred in your eyes,
And harsh words escape your lips?
could you still find it somewhere?

Could it bear you to forgiveness,
Overtaking distance and anger?
Would you speak softly again?
Would you lift me up again?

Is the love that's running through your soul,
Strong enough to forbid you from letting me go?

Can you love me in spite of my faults?
If you walk away, will you walk back,

And find a way to correct me,
Without tearing me apart?

My dear i'm afraid of losing you,
Of not being good enough to keep you.
But saying 'I love you', and hearing it back,
Makes me brave enough to try.

I love you.

She Dies A Little With Each Smile

2006-01-18T01:32:04Z

And cigarettes make her smile,
As she mourns a life that is tainted.
Exhaling her soul into toxic clouds,
She knows that she is broken.

And music makes her smile.
That which she creates herself,
And that which she cannot touch.
She knows her dreams are distant.

And she never gets enough of what she wants,
And always too much of what she should't have.
Her life, an unending mystery,
Her mind, not her's to grasp.

And he doesn't make her smile.
Though the rain falls from his hair like tears,
And shining stars dance in his eyes.
She knows that he is toxic.

And she never gets enough of what she wants,
And always too much of what she should't have.
Her life, an unending mystery,
Her mind, not her's to grasp.

What determines what we want,
And what we should not have?
Emotions rage their battle within,
Until all she feels is emptiness.

And she never gets enough of what she wants,
And always too much of what she should't have.
Her life, an unending mystery,
Her mind, not her's to grasp.